Where did you steal that baby from?

My husband is still getting used to "playground politics".  He reports in after his and my daughter's daily trip to the park.

We rate his park experience based on if any of the mothers spoke to him, or if any grandparents chatted to him, or if the other Dads conversed.  Sadly there are often not any other Dad’s at the park.  However it is more fun to rate the looks or comments pertaining to trying to work out where he stole that child from?

He has an advantage over me when it comes to matching up the parent and the child.  Our daughter is the spitting image of her Daddy – everyone comments about how much alike they are, from colouring to features and even the smile or facial expressions. 

But to the mothers at the park – they must not see the resemblance.

I am wondering how long it will take for them to accept that there is such a thing as a Stay At Home Dad.

Does his job title - SAHD - threaten them?

I have given him a few lessons on opening lines – he had no trouble when single with opening lines – but life is different now – and those opening lines from his single bar hopping days, aren’t going to cut it in the playground.

I have told him to keep the opening lines/questions purely about the child/children they are looking after. 

Don’t ask...

Where do you live?

Is this your local park?

Do you come here often?

Basically no questions that look like he is about to stalk them or off load his daughter for free babysitting.

Do say...

How old is your baby/child?

Great to see the sun out again – we missed coming to the park while it was raining.

Anything child or park related is ok.

We are still trying to work out – are they uncomfortable talking to a Dad at the park because they think he is

• Unemployed
• In a gay relationship
• Trying to pick them up
• Been left the child in a divorce or is a widow
• Or their Husbands wouldn't approve?

He is starting to think the grandparents are more accepting of him -  which brings us to the debate over if it is generational thing – as grandparents are more likely to say hello to you on a walk or in the supermarket then people your own age.

We grew up learning about stranger danger – or maybe these mums are so young that unless you are friends on Facebook first you can’t have a conversation with a stranger in the park.

I should tell you my Husband and I are both introverts – we don’t like huge parties or crowds – but my Husband is a very friendly man and loves to have a good old yarn – so this park politics is doing his head in – especially as we seem to have an extrovert daughter who loves to chase the older kids at the park.  She is like a Chihuahua chasing a Great Dane.  We assume she does this because she has a million older cousins – and has decided they are much more fun than kids her own age or she is trying to get my Husband to make friends with the kids mums.

I am leaning towards the park politics being that the Mums’ feel uncomfortable initiating conversation, to avoid looking like they are trying to pick my Husband up - I find him very good looking and a good catch (so unless I am bias I can see why they are concerned - lol).  The only reason I don’t make that my final answer, is because we have been at the supermarket or on plane trips and women will flock to my husband when he and my daughter are alone – we had one lady at the airport that waited until I went to the shop to come over and chat to him, and when I returned she went back to her seat.  She did tell him she had a son of her own.  So there is a common interest between mums and dads.

He has also been invited over to have “playdates” with one of our neighbours and her kids – although at the time, we felt that would be wrong as we hadn’t met her Husband – and wasn’t sure if there was a Husband – so we wondered if she was trying to pick him up.  Obviously we are just as bad as the mothers at the park.  We are par taking in street politics now.

  

All jokes aside, my other theory is that his status or job title is threatening because these Mum’s realise in the same way that I have begun to realise that parenting isn’t just a role for the mother it is a role for the Parents.  We still find people’s reactions to our situation is a little confused.  It is hard for them to sometimes comprehend - I am at work, my husband is a House Husband – and we think there are lot of fathers out there that envy this set up and would love to be in the same situation and a lot of mums that don't want to give it up!

An old boss of mine and his wife have 3 kids and she would have a baby and take a year off then he would take the next year off then she would fall pregnant, have the next baby and do the same – they are both back at full time work now as the kids are nearly at or started school.  So we are not the first to use this arrangement, but sometimes it still feels like we are.

Who would have thought that a trip to the park was so political.